day 4.70

movie review: this means war

for the past couple of weeks, i've been treating myself to a movie. and by "treating myself" i mean i go alone to the theater on wednesday afternoons, drink a medium coke and laugh/cry/feel emotions amongst the geriatric crowd that favors a weekday matinee. so far, i haven't reviewed any because my policy (on this blog) is usually, if i didn't see it opening weekend, it's too late to review it. but i'm throwing my rule book out the window for this means war. i don't understand why this movie didn't open bigger. it. is. hilarious. i won't bore you with too many details, but the flick follows fdr (star trek's chris pine) and tuck (inception's tom hardy), two cia operatives, as they vie for the attention of the same girl (reese witherspoon as lauren), all while trying to take down an obscure, eastern european criminal. mcg directed war, taking the same tongue-in-cheek approach to action comedy he did in the charlie's angels movies. war's most quotable- and memorable- moments come from chelsea handler, playing witherspoon's horndog housewife of a bff, trish. for example, after discussing (loudly) when lauren should bed both guys in the middle of a playground, she tells the other mothers, "it's the birds and the bees, bitch. google it." how can you not love that? while this won't win any awards (maybe a razzie if they're feeling especially mean), it'll keep you entertained. plus, it passes my "please be less than two hours or i'm going to die at this movie" rule.

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reese witherspoon in "war" with chelsea handler

the trailer for reese witherspoon's romcom comeback, this means war, hit the interwebs this week. witherspoon stars alongside star trek star chris pine and british badass of the moment tom hardy, two secret operatives who discover they're dating the same woman. naturally, hilarity ensues. the reason i'm looking forward to this flick is for reese's bff- chelsea handler. the funny lady plays wingman to witherspoon. hopefully all her one-liners aren't wasted in the trailer.

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i love and miss you lauren conrad

day 3.160

book review: lies that chelsea handler told me

first my horizontal life. then are you there vodka? it's me, chelsea. followed by chelsea chelsea, bang bang. now, lies that chelsea handler told me. handler continues her climb up the new york times' best seller list with her latest offering. too bad she didn't write it herself. lies is a compilation of essays penned by chelsea's staff, friends and family chronicling different - big shocker here - lies she's told them over the years. a different familiar face (well, technically, name) writes each chapter, each one more absurd than the one it follows. after each "victim" tells his or her story, chelsea adds a paragraph explaining her relationship with the person. the book lives up to its predecessors, but because it isn't written by handler herself, it lacks a little of the laugh-out-loud factor. if you're new to handler's books, don't start with lies. reading the first three first will make the references - and additions - to earlier stories that much better. but, if you've joined chelsea's absurd journey through bed sheets, beach chairs and belvedere cocktails, then by all means pick up lies that chelsea handler told me. you won't be disappointed.

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yes, yes and yes.

day 3.98

pilot season

it's the most wonderful time of the year. well, at least i think it is. spring is the time of year when all the major networks start working on new fall shows. here's a breakdown of the major projects each of the networks are planning.

abc

for the past ... well, decade, basically, abc has had the strongest pilots, and therefore the best shot at a successful season. that pattern continues again this year. abc execs are working the show i'm most looking forward to, good christian bitches. based on the book of the same name, the series follows amanda, a recently divorced mother of two who returns to the dallas suburb where she grew up, hoping to start fresh. too bad all the girls she scorned in high school are out to get her. the pilot stars leslie bibb (from the wb's popular and the iron man movies) as amanda, while kristin chenoweth (cheno!) plays the ring leader of amanda's hate club. produced by the man responsible for the original 90210 and sex and the city, gcb (as it's being called) looks to have the most potential.

georgetown is abc's other promising series this season. centered on the young power players running washington, d.c., the show will star jimmy wolk (from this season's biggest upset, lone star) and katie cassidy (melrose place, gossip girl). georgetown comes from the team behind gossip girl and nbc's chuck, so georgetown has the potential to be as youthful and hip as the characters living in it.

abc's also rebooting charlie's angels. with part of the original creative team behind it, as well as drew barrymore's production company flower films (which produced the two feature films), there's a good chance we'll actually get to see these angels take flight. angels landed one of this season's most sought after actresses, minka kelly, so hopefully her burgeoning star power can bring some added buzz to the show. the another ladies aren't too bad either - here's one of the many pics of the cast on set in miami that his the internets this week.

nbc

after a merger with comcast and a nearly complete overhaul of its management team, nbc looks to be trying as hard as it can to pull itself from fourth place. most of nbc's shows are high concept and/or remake. the biggest risk at the peacock net? the wonder woman reboot. starring friday night light's adrianne palicki (who was also part of fox's failed lone star), the one thing wonder woman has going for it is the brain power of david e. kelley. kelley created the practice, ally mcbeal, boston legal, boston public and, most recently, harry's law. if anyone knows how to bring strong female characters to the small screen, it's kelley. plus, elizabeth hurley is set to co-star. but after i saw this picture of palicki in full wonder woman garb ... i'm more than worried.

nbc also has two period pieces in production. the first is called playboy, which - you guessed it - focuses on the playboy brand. the show will follow the start of hugh hefner's empire, centered on the playboy club in chicago. former csi: miami star (and liam rimes homewrecking partner in crime) eddie cibrian is set to star. the second, pan am, will follow the scandalous and scintillating era that launched the jet age. think mad men in the sky. the project will be christina ricci's first series gig if it gets picked up.

nbc got some star-driven comedies set to launch, too. are you there vodka? it's me chelsea is a small screen adaptation of chelsea handler's book. laura prepon (that 70's show) will take on the role of chelsea while hander will play, of all things, her own sister. it will be interesting to see how nbc plays this off, as the tv show's version of chelsea will be a waitress/bartender instead of a famous comedian. joining handler on the small screen will be christina applegate, who's returning to tv for the first time since becoming a mom. that real life experience will be some help in applegate's new role, in which she'll play a modern working mommy trying to please her stay at home husband and hovering parents. if nbc is able to get all these shows on the air, there's a good chance they could finally rebound. the peacock's been feeling the pinch since friends went off the air in 2004.

cbs

it looks like cbs hopes to maintain their number one spot, continuing to order their staple of comedies, dramedies and crime procedurals. the show i'm most excited for is the assistants. wizards of waverly place star david henrie landed the lead role of mike, one of four assistants to a celebrity power couple. the biggest draw here? heather locklear signed on to play the wife-half of the power couple. as for comedies, cbs landed two big names - michelle trachtenberg and mary lynn rajskub. trachtenberg will star in an as-yet-untitled workplace comedy, whil rajskub joins the cast of how to be a gentleman, about an uptight guy working to loosen up. entourage's kevin dillon is also attached to star.

cbs is also readying rookies, a cop drama following first year officers. while it sounds super similar to abc's summer flop rookie blue, the one thing cbs's rookies has going for it is its star - leelee sobieski. after virtually disappearing from the biz, i'm glad to see sobieski making a comeback. robert de niro is producing the show, so chances are good it'll get picked up.

those are the big three for now - i'll have my thoughts on fox and the cw's prospects later in the week.

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and the nominees are...

the list of nominees for this year's american music awards were announced today. here's a look at the nominees and who i think will take the statues home november 21 on abc.

favorite male artist (pop/rock)

• justin bieber
• eminem
• usher

no one had a bigger year than the biebs. and, since this is a fan-voted award show, i expect every tweenage girl from california to new york to be voting with bieber fever.

favorite female artist (pop/rock)

• ke$ha
• lady gaga
• katy perry

lady gaga has plenty of little monsters who will take to their keyboard to vote. plus, no female artist has swept the country and changed the face of music like gaga.

favorite band, duo or group (pop/rock)

• the black eyed peas
• lady antebellum
• train

a group hasn't crossed from country to pop airwaves since rascall flats. everyone was singing "need you now" this year, so much so that the song officially got added to my "way overplayed, i'm done with you" list. i always think it's interesting when award shows cross-nominate acts - lady a is also nominated in the country band/duo/group category and will most likely win favorite album in the country category.

favorite album (pop/rock)

• justin bieber, my world 2.0
• katy perry, teenage dream
• eminem, recovery

this one is a tough call and it really depends on whose fans are the most voracious voters. katy perry and eminem's albums are both doing incredibly and will continue charting, as both albums have plenty of singles to come. my guess is that katy will take this trophy.

favorite male artist (country)

• jason aldean
• luke bryan
• brad paisley

from what i've heard (and i don't listen to all that much country radio), paisley's water has gotten a lot more play than these other two artists. he's also the most well known of the three, which will help him - people voting for katy perry or justin bieber may click paisley's name just because it sounds familiar, not because they actually listen to the music.

favorite female artist (country)

• miranda lambert
• taylor swift
• carrie underwood

this is yet another tough one. i'm thinking miranda lambert will take the american music award home. she's traditionally more country than carrie underwood (i don't think taylor has a chance this year, but those same pop fans who could sway the paisley vote could play a role here) and has quickly become country music's go-to girl.

favorite band, duo or group (country)

• zac brown band
• lady antebellum
• rascal flatts

there's a good chance lady a could take this category, too. but, if they get the pop award, i wouldn't be surprised if the zac brown band grabs the trophy.

favorite album (country)

• jason aldean, wide open
• lady antebellum, need you now
• carrie underwood, play on

favorite male artist (soul/r&b)

• chris brown
• trey songz
• usher

usher is yet another cross-listed artist. he has a greater chance of taking home the r&b award than the pop award, where his protege justin bieber is more likely to strike gold.

favorite female artist (soul/r&b)

• alicia keys
• rihanna
• sade

i think alicia keys will take both this category and the next, favorite album. rihanna's rated r did not perform well, only garnering one hit with "rude boy." keys is the safe vote.

favorite album (soul/r&b)

• alicia keys, the element of freedom
• sade, soldier of love
• usher, raymond v. raymond

artist of the year

• justin bieber
• eminem
• ke$ha
• lady gaga
• katy perry

i really have no clue in this category - it could be anyone's game. i think twitter promotion and fandom will decide who gets this trophy, which most likely means bieber or gaga.

t-mobile breakthrough artist

• b.o.b.
• justin bieber
• taio cruz
• jason derulo
• ke$ha
• lady antebellum
• travie mccoy
• mike posner

breakthrough artist categories are always tricky for me because so often these people have been around for a long time - justin bieber, lady antebellum and travie mccoy have all been around for a couple of years. if we're really going for a "new" artist, i'd say b.o.b. or mike posner will take this award home, but we'll just have to wait and see. if you want to vote, or see the full list of nominees, click here.

chelsea handler to have after party

e! is going to get a little funnier. the cable net greenlit a new half-hour sitcom for late night host chelsea handler. the new show, titled after lately, will be a mockumentary style series documenting the behind-the-scenes world of chelsea lately. chelsea and her staff will work with basic story outlines, rather than scripts, so the acting will be improvised and appear more off the cuff. the series is kind of a modern-day take on hbo's groundbreaking series the larry sanders show. only a few episodes of the show have been ordered, with no premiere date set, but expect the show to launch sometime before the new year.

day 2.307

spidey gets the girl

the lead female role in the new spiderman franchise has been cast. emma stone landed the part of gwen stacey - no, not mary jane watson - in the reboot opposite the social network star andrew garfield. while it was originally rumored stone would take the role of watson (played by kirsten dunst in the first series), casting took a turn when director marc webb saw "stunning" chemistry between garfield and stone. gwen is spidey's main love interest in the first film in the new series, with mary jane playing more of a supporting role. the bright side here is that stone is actually a natural blonde, not a redhead like we know her. basically, she could have played either role. the irony here? bryce dallas howard, who played gwen in spiderman 3, is a natural redhead who went blonde for the part. with stone taking the part of gwen, casting is now up in the air for the role of mary jane. names like glee's dianna agron and the kids are all right and alice in wonderland star mia wasikowska circled with stone's in the casting pool, so those two may duke it out for the role of mary jane. we'll just have to wait and see.

in other casting news, chelsea handler has reportedly grabbed the sidekick role in reese witherspoon's new flick, this means war. chelsea will be playing - shocker - the snarky best friend to reese, who is the object of affection for two cia-agent best friends (chris pine and tom hardy), hence the war.

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the vmas!

mtv's big night - and the only night they really turn their focus to music - the video music awards went down with just a few hitches last night. the show was preceded by a "very special episode" of jersey shore and a pre-show that was really just a long-form commercial for thursdays' episode of jersey shore. after every interview or performance they cut to a clip of snooki taking off her earrings and threatening to hurt angelina. anyway, nicki minaj was the first act to perform when she took the stage during the pre-show.
the sound was almost off (it's been fixed in the version mtv posted). will.i.am was in some bizarre blackface make-up. overall, it could have been so much better. nicki marked the beginning of the night's trend: lip-syncing. the majority of the artists who performed either lip-synced...or should have lip-synced.

eminem opened the show with a mash-up of "not afraid" and "love the way you lie," with a surprise appearance by rihanna, who was supposedly stuck filming her film debut, battleship. it was a good performance but it could have been bigger. i feel like mtv was playing it safe with the performances this year. it felt more like we were watching a concert performance instead of an award show.

chelsea handler's opening sketch and monologue set the right tone for the night and helped introduce the comedian to those who didn't know who she was.

chelsea then made her stage debut dressed as a bootleg lady gaga. it was the easy thing to do, but i also think it was the right thing to do. the dove flying out of her koslopus? not the right thing. but you win some, you lose some.

now to all the night's other performances...

i'll start with my favorite of the night, florence + the machine doing "dog days are over." it was a song that most people probably don't know, or only recognize from commercials, but it was the only song that was done specifically for the award show and couldn't have been done in concert.

justin bieber took the stage with a "u smile/baby/somebody to love" mash-up. i'd say he was the audience favorite.

the bieb's mentor usher took the stage later and, well, you can watch it here. mtv won't let me embed it, which is fine because it could have been so much more.

the best performance idea, and worst executed, of the night was the b.o.b./bruno mars/hailey williams/paramore mash-up. it could have been so much better had the stage been used. they were just standing around singing. that's fine for a concert, but this needs to be theatrical for tv.

and then there was taylor swift. oh, taylor swift. for as talented an artist she it, the girl is not a strong live performer. she's always a little all over the place and never sounds like her records. taylor performed "innocent," a song she wrote about the kanye west incident from last year. had they not played the clip from last year's show, no one would have known what the song was about. it sounds like all her other ballads (see: "fifteen"). taylor really needs to take some time away and reevaluate what kind of music she wants to make. she's no longer a teenager and, therefore, probably shouldn't be singing about being one. step back and make like carrie underwood - an edgier country-rock-pop sound could really work for swifty.

the only other highlight of the night was kanye's closing performance. he sang "runaway," which also seemed to be a nod to last year's incident. it's a little crass and i'm not the biggest fan of the song, but the performance is worth watching.

if you want to see drake's or another performance from the night, click here.

ok, now for the winners. the two names you need to know: lady gaga and eminem.

• video of the year - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best new artist - justin bieber, "baby"
• best hip-hop video - eminem, "not afraid"
• best pop video - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best male video - eminem, "not afraid"
• best rock video - 30 seconds to mars, "kings and queens"
• best female video - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best collaboration - lady gaga featuring beyonce, "telephone"
• best dance video - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best art direction - florence + the machine, "dog days are over"
• best choreography - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best cinematography - jay z featuring alicia keys, "empire state of mind"
• best direction - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best editing - lady gaga, "bad romance"
• best special effects - muse, "uprising"
• breakthrough video - the black keys, "tighten up"

you can watch the whole show on-demand at mtv.com.

day 2.284

video music awards

tonight at 9/8c on mtv. hosted by chelse

a handler. i'll be live tweeting @bricesander. rumor has it rihanna will be making a surprise appearance, taylor swift will sing a son about kanye. and lindsay lohan will address all her recent troubles. check back tomorrow for a full recap.

when worlds collide

day 2.241

continuing on the lazy train

day 2.237

just some videos

...to entertain you.

day 2.232

my new favorite

so i've been a fan of diablo cody since juno came out. i've read her book. i watch united states of tara. i even sat through jennifer's body, which wasn't really that bad. but now diablo has her own talk show. yes, it's on youtube...but still, it's a talk show! diablo tweeted a while back that she was going to park a trailer in her driveway and host a talk show in it. naturally, i thought she was joking. but, nope, she mad her dream a reality. it's called red band trailer and ms. cody has some pretty big guests, like adam brody and chelsea handler. and that's just the first two guests. check out the 10 minute episodes above and subscribe to her channel, because jason bateman is going to be on next week.

day 2.237

book review: chelsea chelsea bang bang

this is the first time i've ever really done a book review on my blog, but i figured it was appropriate. i was flying back to school today (yep, spring break's over and it's back to too much work for me) and realized i didn't have a book packed to read - i wasn't interested in my school work at 9:30 in the morning. luckily the airport had a borders (i know that's not really lucky - more so normal - but run with it) and i knew what book i wanted. that book would be chelsea handler's latest offering, chelsea chelsea bang bang. i've read the late night comedian's two prior essay collections (my horizontal life and are you there vodka? it's me chelsea) so i knew i'd be up for this one. they're pretty quick reads - i was done with it by the time i got to my apartment at school - and super funny (duh). the only problem with them is that you look like a complete idiot giggling to yourself while reading. this is the first book to come out from chelsea since her talk show really took off, so a lot of the characters were a lore more familiar to me because i've seen them on tv. you don't have to imagine what they look like because you know. plus, this book includes pictures and who doesn't love pictures? this is also the first of handler's books to use her siblings real names. usually they're slightly tweaked, but apparently her sibs are now ok with people knowing who they are. it's actually part of the book's storyline. i definitely recommend chelsea chelsea bang bang, but forewarn you that it's a lot less about her promiscuous lifestyle (like its predecessors) and much more about the crazy people in her life. that's probably because handler was in a relationship with comcast boss ted harbert at the time. the duo have since split up, but their relationship provides plenty of lol's - i really shouldn't use that acronym according to chelsea, but oh well - and a good escape from the stress of the week ahead. check it out.

day 305

aniston lately

last night, chelsea handler's e! late night show, chelsea lately, got its biggest guest even when jennifer aniston stopped by to talk up her new movie, love happens. either this movie is really good or really bad because jen and costar aaron eckhart have been on a crazy promotional tour for it. the movie, which comes out today, focuses on a self-help expert (eckhart) who learns he hasn't really been following his own advice when he meets a woman (aniston) at his own seminar ... and it's a romantic dramedy. the interview focuses more on chelsea, surprisingly, and is mainly her cracking jokes about her family and life in new jersey, which you can read all about in her two books. the only thing jennifer could really say about the movie was that it's a "good" movie. well that's descriptive. still, it's a fun interview to waste 8 minutes with. watch it below.

day 260

lame day

today is one of them. nothing to talk about. but, here are some videos to entertain you. old but good.

day 70

sag much?

the screen actors guild awards were held last night.  these awards are pretty cool because the winners are chosen by their peers, members of the screen actors guild.  former presidents of the organization include former us prez (and former actor) ronald reagan, charlton heston (the ten commandments), and melissa gilbert (little house on the prairie).  so, as you can see, it's run by some of the top actors in the field and is currently helmed by alan rosenberg, who was a series regular on the 90s sitcom cybil and has worked on shows like er and chicago hope.  what i like about these awards are some of the categories.  rather than say "best picture," the sag's have the category "outstanding performance by a cast in a motion picture." that awards went to sure-to-be oscar winner slumdog millionaire - which really should have been nominated for some acting awards.  what was thought to be a "sore subject" film, milk, also took a top honor, with sean penn receiving the statuette for outstanding male performance.  a lot of controversy has been surrounding the film and many critics were afraid that it would get the brokeback mountain treatment, in which it would be recognized but not awarded because of its "taboo" material.  that's obviously not the case.  meryl streep (big surprise) took home the prize for outstanding female performance and appeared extremely grateful and surprised, which is always nice to see from an actor regarded as "the best" and a lock to win.  it seems like anne hathaway's rachel getting married performance is getting less and less praise as the awards season moves on, but she still has a chance at the oscar.  in honor of her nomination, the film was released in wide release on friday - meaning it can be seen at almost every theater in the nation instead of just art house cinemas.  click here to check out the full list of nominations and winners.  

senator oprah

in his recent interview with the alphabet net's diane sawyer, illinois governor rod blagojevich (who skipped out on his impeachment hearing to make the media rounds) admitted that he strongly considered offering the diva of daytime, chicago-based oprah winfrey, barack obama's senate seat, which he is accused of trying to sell to the highest bidder.  they don't call chicago the windy city just because of the weather.  blagojevich then said - right after - that lady o probably wouldn't have taken the offer anyway.  hmm leave a multi million dollar empire to be a junior senator? i don't know, it seems like a hard decision to make.  oprah released a statement saying that the governor's comment amused her, but didn't say whether she would have taken the position or not, if offered.  oprah has repeatedly said in the past that she will not throw her hat in the political ring, though she did put her toe in the pool of politics this past election season by backing a political candidate publicly for the first time, our current president obama.  i feel like had oprah taken the seat, she would have screamed things like "you get a bill passed, and you get a bill passed, and you get a bill passed!" a la the "you get a car" debacle of a few years ago.  

abc shelves betty

abc's comedy golden child, ugly betty, will be taken off the air for midseason-season hiatus to make room for a block of 2 half hour comedies starting in late march.  rather than a betty lead in to abc's highest rated show, grey's anatomy, viewers will be able to see the return of samantha who? (which was put on hold for the bachelor, whose ratings have been huge this season) and the new show in the motherhood, based on the web-series starring chelsea handler, leah remini, and jenny mccarthy.  while original plans for the show included keeping handler on board, the comedian has since left the project to focus on her late night show, chelsea lately, and stand-up career.  she's been replaced by best week ever mainstay jessica st. clair, who joins megan mullaly and cheryl hines.  the alphabet net apparently wants to go to a "cable schedule" (basic tv's competition in the digital age), with fewer reruns and more focus on "pet project" series.  wednesdays will also get a comedic makeover on abc, with scrubs and the new portia de rossi sitcom better off ted taking pushing daisie's former time slot, along with former thursday newcomer life on mars, which was replaced on greysday by spin off  private practice.  ugly betty will probably be off the air for six weeks, returning with only a handful of new episodes to finish off the season.