day 4.01

what i love (this week)


the song

this song has been stuck in my head since robyn's snl appearance last weekend.

the show

it was like the early 2000s again last night on snl! the weekend update joke off? phenomenal.

the movie

i watched this on netflix instant. so bad it was good. sarah jessica parker has seriously only ever played one character.

the look

every month, the olsen twins release a new viral video to promote their t-shirt club, stylemint. it's like seeing what they would do if they had never stopped making olsen twin movies.

day 3.272

movie review: i don't know how she does it

i don't know how she does it, either. and by "it" i mean play the exact same character in every movie she's in. sarah jessica parker channels carrie bradshaw: motherhood edition in this cutesy adaptation of the novel of the same name. i don't know how she does it follows kate (sjp), a high powered banking exec in boston whose life gets a little complicated when she lands a big account in new york. cue "i don't know how to parent, be a wife and work with pierce brosnan" montage. the flick entertains, featuring a stellar cast including greg kinnear, christina hendricks, seth meyers and a surprisingly likable olivia munn. there are plenty of laughs to be had during the hour and a half run time- but i don't know how she does it's biggest downfall is that it's not memorable. cliche after predictable cliche won't have you coming back for a second viewing. but, if you're looking for a nice escape, feel free to check out sjp in action.

day 2.285

sex and the city 2: don't get carried away.

oh sex and the city 2. what to say? really, what to say? i don't even know where to start. the follow up to the 2008 big screen series continuation was less than stellar. now, let me preface my review with the setting in which i saw the flick, because that might have had an effect on my complete experience. there were not one but two groups of women numbering over 10. one was seated next to me while the other group was two rows down and i suspect they were some sort of birthday group or bridal shower (and were too old to be doing either of those things at a movie theater). both groups appeared to have spent the day drinking because they were completely slap-happy the entire two and a half hour running time. there was also a row of men and women who broke out a plastic jug filled with what had to be franzia. they brought along plastic cups (not red solo ones, but the squatty clear ones you get on planes) and drank themselves into the night. these three crowds, coupled with the gaggle of girls who came in sets of four (natch they were all discussing whether they were carries, charlottes or mirandas. natch none of them would be samantha. or at least they wouldn't say it to their faces). and one very mismatched gay couple (standing together, they looked like the number 10) who laughed uproariously in my ear.

ok, so i've set the scene for you. now let me get to actually talking about the movie. like i said it was two and a half hours. that's an hour more than i like movies to be. however, i didn't check my watch. that's a good sign that i was entertained. and i was, but not consistently. i know the movie was made to be an escape - a chance for all of us to get away from the world's "troubles" and experience the, as samantha says, decadence. i get that and i fully embrace it. but, i don't know that the movie needed an escape. it is called sex and the city, not sex and abu dhabi. is there no way for these women to have a good time in the city? the first movie took the women to mexico, this one to the middle east. they did the show in new york for only 6 seasons on tv, meaning there has to be some story left untold there.

my other problem with the movie was that it didn't have a consistent tone. yes, there are such things as dramedies. but usually those have a specific type of humor laced in with the drama. satc2 went from slapstick, to sight gags, to puns and snark and back again. it was all over the place. the writing was far from the quality and it didn't seem like anyone cared to say "no one would ever say this" (the phrase "lawrence of my labia" was uttered. funny? yes. necessary? no). i think the women are so far removed from the series that they've forgotten who these characters are. they were basically caricatures of the people they used to be. everything was so overplayed. i think it may have been an attempt to cover up the fact that the movie really had no plot. it was as if 5 separate episodes of the tv show were written and then clumped together for a feature film. none of the story lines carried the movie (ha, pun). and the two major conflicts the film revolved around were resolved way too easily. there wasn't one major climax, but rather a bunch of mini ones.

i don't want to spoil anything for anyone interested in seeing the film, so i'll just sum it up from here. if you're a fan of the series, go ahead and see the movie. you'll enjoy it. but don't expect that chill down your spine the first film gave you. sex and the city 2 feels like a bridge - just a pathway and not a journey - to what is inevitably going to be sex and the city 3. hopefully carrie finds her way, again, by then.

day 2.50

oh, mariah

last night, mariah carey made quite the appearance at the palm springs international film festival. after being named breakthrough actress for her work in precious, the known diva took to the stage looking similar to post-glitter breakdown mimi. while the video above cuts out some of her speech, most of the crazy is there. luckily (i guess) mariah wasn't having a mental breakdown. she was just plastered beyond belief - and even admitted to it. watch the clip above as carey shares some bizarre - and uncomfortable - inside joke, pay reference to the woman who was supposed to play her part in the film, but had to drop out (helen mirren) and just make a complete ass of herself.

two belated movie reviews

over the past couple of days, i've seen two movies that have been at the theater for a little while but still deserve reviews. first up, the princess and the frog.

the princess and the frog is probably the lamest disney princess flick i've seen. maybe it's because the last time i saw a disney animation film in the theater i was 9. or because i'm almost 20 now (though that's kind of the same reason). this latest offering from the mouse house has just done ok at the box office - it would be making good returns if it weren't a disney cartoon. if the film had been released over the summer, taking care of an entire 3 months in which children need entertainment, i think it would have done better. and may have looked better. tpatf's animation quality is pretty low for disney. it's not just because it isn't computer generated, but because it just appears simplistic. maybe that's what they were going for, but other disney classics - like cinderella and beauty and the beast - have awe inspiring animation. i think disney built this flick up too much and didn't take into account that the thing that makes all their past movies great is that they are fantasy based. while the film takes advantage of magic, it takes place in the real world - something people are attempting to escape when they make the trek to the movies. watching princess tiana and her prince as frogs for the majority of the movie is trying. i would much rather see them as people and everyone else in the film as a frog. the honor of being disney's first black princess is almost discredited by the fact that tiana is slimy (i'm sorry, mucus-y - you'll get it if and when you see the movie) for the flick. the villian is some weird blend of aladin's jafar and cruella de vil, which isn't a good thing. the best character of the movie - tiana's friend lottie - is barely in the film and doesn't get a musical number, even though broadway star jennifer cody voices her. on that note, the music of the film isn't memorable or timeless - you won't be singing anyone of it's tunes when you leave the theater because you won't be able to recall any! bottom line is, if you're a disney fan, check out the princess and the frog - but don't hold you breath for it to live up to the ad campaign's hype that it's "the best disney film since the lion king," because it definitely isn't.

i read a review of did you hear about the morgans? brushed the film off as just a tbs-rerun worthy flick. well, is that bad? i don't know about you, but the movies that get played over and over again on channel like tbs always entertain me - and the morgans doesn't disappoint. while the film can feel slow (my watch check - a sign that i'm bored - total was 3 or 4), the storyline is entertaining. the film is a bit predictable, but that's expected in any out-of-town-ers romcom, right? hugh grant gets a belly laugh one-liner pretty much every scene, though they're often tossed in at the end of the scene and can become later-laughs (meaning you laugh after the fact and it's just awkward in the theater). my biggest problem with the flick - which follows a separated couple having to be relocated in the witness protection program after witnessing a mob-like crime - is sarah jessica parker's wig. the hairpiece itself deserves a razzie award for worst acting by a wig in a comedy. i don't understand why someone insists (maybe it's sjp herself) that the actress wear this banged mess in her romcoms - i'm pretty sure it's the same look from failure to launch a few years back. why doesn't someone go "hey, people want to see carrie bradshaw - not carrie's unfortunate looking cousin." while the film won't - and isn't - getting any award show buzz, it does its job: it entertains (and in under 2 hours, no less).

day 219

sarah jessica parker: mom of three

yesterday afternoon, sjp's surrogate gave birth to twin girls for her and hubby matthew broderick. the girls arrived into the world healthy, but who knows if they'll leave that way. they are now the daughters of two tabloid targets and were named - wait for it - marion and tabitha. yes, those are the names the couple picked out. i mean, is it really a surprise? they did name their son (now 6) james-wilkie. and, yes, they call him that; he's never just "james" or "jack," even though he probably should be. why celebrities insist on these bizarre names...i mean at least marion and tabitha are names that actually exist in the realm of baby names, but you're forcing these two to grow up to be an old lady and a stripper. hopefully they'll come up with cute nicknames for the duo, because i don't know any child who wants to go through life with those names.

d-list break up

two of mtv's biggest former stars have called it quits. ex-vj vanessa minillo and ex-98 degrees member/newlyweds star nick lachey have decided to amicably split, according to vanessa's publicist. why she has a publicist? i don't know. the couple had been together since meeting on nick's music video set back in 2006, right after his split from jessica simpson and her split from derek jeter. the couple, much like sjp and matthew broderick, had been the target of tabloid break up rumors for at least the last 2 years and never seemed to be in a happy place in their lives. but, who is going to pick up the scraps of this relationship? inevitably, i only see these two getting back together...because i can't see them with anyone else.

day 192

candy spelling, why you crazy?
when you're the widowed wife of a tv icon with a crazy ass mansion on your hands and a daughter who doesn't talk to you, what should one do? go on the radio and blab about it, of course! promoting her new book, stories from candyland (the book's release date was moved up before tori's latest bestseller, mommywood, hit shelves), candy stoppped by a massachusettes radio station. "my daughter one day decided that she wasn't speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that's how it's continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years," said candy. hmm...people don't just to that out of no where. that's what killed my husband, actually. he just didn't want to live after that" wow, blaming your daughter for killing her dad? genius! i don't think saying she's reponsible for aaron spelling's death is the way to win her over. nor is saying you won't sell the mega-mansion tori lived in for a year and a half if you get to see your grandchildren. how about a surprise visit to the spelling-mcdermot house? perhaps while the tori and dean cameras are around? that episode would be huge. huge. c'mon, candy. you were married to a tv legend - you have to have some tricks up your sleeves on how to make good tv, even if it is just "reality."

chace crawford speaks!
but it's not that important. it's just about footloose. chace says that both he and "friend" zac efron have to make the best choices for their careers and, well, it just so happened that zac's right move left room for chace's. chace says his audition process was the most rigorous he's even been through, with daily 5 hour routines in front of the film's creative team. but, in the end, it was obviously all worth it. the casting team even said they knew chace was their guy. so why'd he have to go through all the craziness? did you just want to have fun with him? later this week, a decision may be made on chace's leading lady, too. chace and dancing with the stars' julianne hough will screen test together. according to insiders, julianne has a leg up on any competition; the role of ariel is the most singing intensive of any part in the film and requires a little country flavor. if you didn't know, julianne is also the most recent addition to the blond bombshell country singing club. the film recently got a rewrite from the minds behind erin brockovich (though i doubt this movie will win any oscars) to better suit chace. plus, expect a few familiar faces to pop up around the dance-free town. rumor has it that original stars, like kevin bacon and sarah jessica parker, should make cameos. one thing that probably won't be making a reapparance (at least if crawford gets his way)? the high beam flips and jumps from the warehouse scene. says chace, "“i’ve got some movement in me, but i’m not a dancer." boo you whore.

your daily funny.
last week, idol wannabeen katherine mcphee was cornered by the papparazzi in la, but was "saved" by a local homeless woman, quween. funnyordie got a hold of the two to make a fake celebrity protection advertisement. check it out below. all i have to say is "hell no letters and words. hell no."

Katharine McPhee in Paparazzi Protection from Katharine McPhee

check the twitter later for little updates, like about the rest of the cast for i'm a celebrity...

day 162

sjp + 2

sarah jessica parker and her husband matthew broderick are doing everything they can to stop the rumors that the duo is headed for divorce.  the couple, who have a 6 year old son, james wilkie, together, is expecting female twins this summer via a surrogate.  yep, the couple that has probably experience the most tabloid coverage for their relationship (only second to the jen-brad-angie triangle) are expecting their second and third child at the ages of 44 and 47.  that means that when the twins turn 18, sjp will be in ear early 60s, matthew in his mid-60s. i wonder why the couple decided now was the right time? hmm...we're in our mid-to-late 40s. let's have a baby! i'm just glad sarah won't be carrying the babies herself; that's the last thing her body (or the sex and the city sequel!) needs. speaking of satc 2, chris noth (mr. big/john james preston) will be coming back, despite reports he was unwilling to sign a contract.  the actor finalized his deal earlier this week.  the script for the movie has yet to be penned, by director michael patrick king is said to be leaning towards a baby theme.  yes, sjp could be a mother in real life and on screen.  i really don't think carrie is the mother-type though.  she doesn't even have a dog! the lack of script also means that gilles marini could be back as dante, samantha's horny neighbor, for the second go around.  i wouldn't be surprised if he made an appearance now that his celebrity has been increased by dancing with the stars.  

it's been confirmed

well, sort of.  as i mentioned a couple days ago, kristin cavallari was in attendance at the spedi wedding.  strange, no?  well mtv announced today that the hills was being picked up for another "continuation," when season 5 finishes out this fall. in the press release, the network listed cavallari as one of the show's new stars.  and, by calling this season 5 still, i can only imagine that the producers are hoping that lauren will return for sweeps episodes, which is likely since her former roommates audrina patridge (surprise - her reality show won't get started until this season of the hills is over...probably because no one's interested in the show) and lo bosworth will be sticking around.  stephanie pratt and her brother and sister-in-law will also be sticking around, alongside justin bobby.  aren't we done with him yet?? show sources won't confirm or deny that kristin is swooping in to take over narrating duties from lc, but it seems like the normal transition .  hey, it worked once on laguna beach - why mess with something that works? 

katy perry "wakes up in vegas"

katy perry's latest single and new music video, "waking up in vegas," premiered today and i can say i'm pleased.  this song was a standout track for me when i got the album this summer - it's in the vein of "i kissed a girl," but a little more pop-py.  the video is great, too.  exactly what you expect from a fun song like this.  nearly a year after the cd dropped, the music still holds up; and miss perry might have the song to rule summer again.  can that even be done?  two summers in a row?  i'd like to see her try at least.  this will be katy's 4 single off one of the boys, after "i kissed a girl," "hot and cold," and "thinking of you," which have all been major successes on the charts and on the radio.  check out the video above.  i dare you not to dance. even if it's just in your head. no word on when katy will head back into the studio to make some new music, but it'll have to be soon.  there's only 7 more songs on the album katy can release - 6 if you subtract "ur so gay," the song that helped launch her career from myspace.  

check in with dirty laundry's twitter for more updates!

day 95

clarkson leaks

kelly clarkson's latest album, all i ever wanted, has leaked onto the internet.  i wasn't able to track down complete versions of the songs (though they're sure to pop up on youtube in the next couple of days), but i did get my hands on 30 second preview clips of the choruses, courtesy of mjsbigblog.  the album is somewhere in between the mega hit breakaway and 2007's my december, which isn't a bad thing.  kelly is definitely back to the pop roots that gave her her start, but there's a little more of an edge to some of the tracks.  there's definitely some big hits on the album, with infectious dance beats and strong hooks peppering the disc.  that's a far cry from my december's bleak break up ballads that had no memorable pieces.  i definitely recommend giving kelly's new material even if you're not a fan.  kelly is not the bubble gum pop star, nor is she a rocker.  she's somewhere in between, giving her a unique identity in the music biz.  i definitely see kelly's songs being chosen for movie soundtracks this summer or fall; they're just really consumer friendly.  one of the album's stand out tracks is actually a song originally intended for katy perry, "i do not hook up."  you can check out katy's full version above.  it's interesting to compare the two since they have a very similar sound and are really targeting the same demo. other stand outs include "whyyawannabringmedown," and "long shot."  kelly's album drops march 10th and she'll probably have a second single out by then, which is rumored to be "i do not hook up."  maybe kelly will even return to the idol stage this year to coincide with her album's release.  clarkson has not appeared on the show since the first idol gives back special where she resembled mama cass.  

lindsay, lily pull a rihanna

two of hollywood's most confusing successes, lindsay lohan and lily allen, got matching tattoos together earlier this week. each star got the word "shhh..." plastered on their index fingers, identical to one rihanna has.  is this some form of solidarity with the recently abused singer or just a coincidence? i don't know, but it would be interesting to find out.  who knew that lindsay and lily were even friends? i guess people who party alike party together?  all 3 stars are known for their multiple tattoos, but only rihanna is really known for showing hers off.  that makes me think the new "shh..." duo are backing up rihanna in the chris brown debacle currently going on.  speaking of that, police have launched an investigation to find out who leaked the confidential photo of rihanna's injuries that i posted yesterday.  today is also the barbados beauty's 21st birthday. 

kelly rowland to walk in heidi klum's shoes

with bravo and lifetime still embroiled in a fight between mega reality show hit project runway, the show's original home, broadway, has decided to move ahead with its "replacement."  the fashion show (creative title, eh?) will follow designers in their quest to get their lines sold in a major department store.  so, basically, all they've done is change the prize on the show (which sounds a little better than the usual start-up cash that pr's winners received).  kelly rowland, of destiny's child, will host the show, while designer isaac mizrahi (yeah, the guy from target) and fern mallis, the senior vice prez of img fashion will judge the contestants' works, along with the studio audience.  it seems like bravo is really just revamping project runway and almost making it better (minus the fact that heidi klum isn't involved and the judges are a little less prestigious). like project runway, the fashion show is based off a british show.  project runway's 6th season (which has been completed) was supposed to start airing last month but the legal battle is still going on and no date has been set.  because of runway's move to the left coast, guest judges like lindsay lohan and eva longoria parker were brought in to fill the seats of michael kors and nina garcia periodically.  hopefully the show will get a chance to hit the airwaves soon, before the guest stars because obsolete.  the fashion show will premiere later this year alongside the sarah jessica parker-created american artist, which will do for the art world what project runway did for the fashion world.