for those of you who watch the hills just trying to figure out what audrina is constantly looking at on the ceiling (note the picture, left, to see her eyes, which are constantly focused upward), your time is running out. on the press tour for patridge's big screen debut, sorority row - from the trailer she dies really early on, so there probably won't be a whole lot of material to gauge her acting abilities on - audrina fielded questions about the upcoming, lauren conrad-less season of the mtv reality staple. according to us weekly, audrina said "we're in the middle of finishing these episodes, and i'll be leaving then." audrina then rambled on about how the hills has made her a stronger actress, the whole reason she moved to la. she's apparently learned to "get into character" by blocking out the camera. so, are we finally done pretending like the show documents real life? i really want someone to write a giant expose on the whole series and about how fake it is, but i'm not sure any of the cast would be willing to or able to do that...the closest we'll ever get to knowing the real story is reading lauren conrad's teen-lit la candy series. what a fun way to waste time. one would think that because audrina wants to be a serious actress she'd be done with reality tv, right? not so much. audrina's next endeavor is...a solo reality series! produced by mark burnett, the new show will basically be the hills 2.0, just following audrina's "real" life. yeah, like i'm buying they're not going to stir up any controversy. if i wanted to see an unemployed actress's life, i'd just go on a trip to la or new york and eat a restaurant where she'd undeniably be my waitress. mtv has, obviously, acquired the rights to the audrina show (yes, that's the real working title) because, like disney, they know a cash cow when they see one and will premiere the series sometime in 2010, most likely paired with hills spin-off, the city. what an entertaining hour that'll be.
the only thing i found as being "news-worthy" (according to all the places i get my scoop from) was that miley cyrus invented some sort of milkshake at "millions of milkshakes" in la (yawn) and that kristin cavallari filmed scenes for the hills...therefore, i thought i'd share some new youtube videos i've come across that are borderline amazing. they come a channel called "kurthugoschneider." from what i can tell, it's a bunch of yale students who are really into the arts and record a cappella versions of some big songs. but, the videos they had that i found most entertaining were a short series they shot (and are still shooting as far as i can tell) called college musical, a blatant rip-off of high school musical. the videos are hilarious, each one featuring 1-2 original songs that the kids created. the acting is spot on and quality is surprisingly good for youtube. check out the first four episodes below and tell me what you think/have a laugh. (warning: these videos contain songs like "i wanna bone my ta" so they're not safe for work, unless you work in a place that's open to foul language and inappropriateness - which, actually, as far as i can tell, is most workplaces)
there's not really anything i feel like discussing today (other than john krasinski - jim on the office - and emily blunt - emily from the devil wears prada - are officially engaged. they've been dating for about a year; emily previously dated michael buble) so i thought i would share the genius that is miley cyrus in all her performing glory, which aired this morning on the today show. so, if you've got 4 hours to kill, stick around and watch all these videos. okay, it's not really that long. but it's still a time waster. miley performed current single "party in the usa," her hannah montana movie hit "the climb," "kicking and screaming," a new song off her soon to be released wal-mart ep which was previously recorded by ashlee simpson, and her classic, "see you again." i really want this best friend leslye to pop up sometime. miley also sat down with today host natalie morales for a not-so-in-depth interview in which miley kind of addresses her life, but mostly just promotes her walmart clothing line. enjoy.
as far as i know, this is taylor's first official collaboration/duet. country - and pop's - biggest name of the moment, taylor swift, has teamed with up-and-coming boston band boys like girls (you've probably been listening to their song "love drunk" this summer) for the new song "two is better than one" off the band's sophomore effort, love drunk. it's a rock ballad for today's emo generation and, overall, relatively easy of the ears. the thing that annoys me anytime i've heard taylor sing with someone else (usually at an awards show/on youtube) is that her voice is always overpowered for some reason. swift technically duets with kellie pickler on "the best days of your life," but it just sounds like background vocals. that sound mixing is repeated here, but at least t gets a verse all to herself. give the song a listen (above) and see if you like it. while i've liked recent collabs like leighton meester and cobra starship, i'm not sure how i feel about this pop princess - meets - punk trend. it's so bizarre to me; recently selena gomez did a "duet" with forever the sickest kids and it just didn't sit well with me. a 16/17 year old should not be hanging out with people closer to 30. disturbing, much?
fall tv spoilers
okay, they're not really spoilers as much as scoop, but same diff right? from what i've read it looks like 30 rock will be continuing with the "jenna always does some project over summer" thing. this year, jenna (jane krakowski) will be taking the lead in some twilight knock-off film franchise that's filming in iceland...where the sun never sets. therefore, production will have issues with the whole "vampires only come out at night" thing. hilarity is sure to ensue. or at least sufficient awkwardness ... greek comes back to the small screen this monday (get exciteddd) and the cappie/casey sexual tension is going to continue to rise, and rise, and rise. however, cappie is going to resist the attraction. why? just to give the show more suspense. i don't know about you, but i was much more a fan of the casey-max relationship, but that's dunzo because michael rady (the actor who played max) is now full time on the cw's melrose place (which i'm still weary of) ... and gossip girl is finally turning to the whole bisexual storyline explored in the books. except, instead of dan, it's chuck taking a trade to the other team. that should be interesting. or completely disturbing. it also looks like the hopes of a dan/serena reconciliation are off the horizon, as penn badgley (dan) was seen sucking face with guest star hilary duff, an actress who attends nyu to get a taste of normal life.
with less than a month to go between now and the mtv video music awards, the ad campaigns are at full force to get people interested in the show once again. ratings peaked last year with the addition of host russell brand, who is returning this year, and from appearances by such hot commodities as britney spears (who had a disastrous turn performing the year before). to generate buzz, mtv compiled a mega cast of today's hottest artists to perform vignettes based on west side story. all the spots - featuring the likes of cobra starship, leighton meester, katy perry, ne yo, and taylor swift to name a few - can be put together to create a full 3.5 minute mini-movie, which you can check out above. russell brand also recently filmed a spot with britney spears, who should be returning to the show once again this year. sadly, she's not scheduled to perform; doesn't she know she needs to redeem herself? the year's most successful concert isn't enough for me - i want a nationally televised redemption! at least showing up not in a drug-induced, crazy ass pink wig like stupor is better than nothing. check out b spears' spot below; it's a dream sequence between her and russell that could have been a lot funnier had they played up the "i'm a dumb southern bumpkin blonde" thing ... though i have a feeling britney's camp wouldn't have been a fan of that.
now that summit entertainment has officially stated that they are working on adapting stephanie meyer's 4th novel in the twilight saga, breaking dawn, for the big screen, instyle had designers sketch the way they picture (spoiler) bella's wedding dress. rumor has it that the book will be split into at least 2 - if not 3 - different feature films to get as much of the story onto the big screen, but the dress would definitely be showcased in the first installment, which would probably start production either late this year or early next year (the 3rd flick, eclipse, is currently in production in vancouver while the second film is being released theatrically november 20th. here are the sketches:
here's monique lluillier's take on the gown. it's one of the most normal of the sketches.
erin fetherston's version is probably the most true to the "period piece" idea alluded to in the book. none of these dresses is all that fun to look at, though. and the dress is going to need to be good to distract from kristen stewart's cardboard cutout acting style.
what the hell this is is beyond me. i've never heard of brian reyes and if this is what his work looks like, i'm guessing i never will. this looks like a dragon or something, not a dress. if someone is able to dissect this for me and describe where exactly the head/limbs are, that'd be great.
hot off his miley cyrus line at walmart, max azria is going back to his high fashion roots. literally. there are twigs coming off this dress.
another designer i've never heard of, prabal gurung, went modern with her take. i'm under the impression that prabal thought she was designing this dress for an actual client from the "for bella...with love" inscription on her sketch. what a sad delusion.
these dresses are all starting to look alike to me. blah blah blah. this is lela rose's take. bo-ringg.
the first project runway designer to become a real fashion force, christian siriano, was asked to give his interpretation (above). hello, drama. this might be a little much for poor little kstew.
this is badgley mischka's tale on the dress. it's pretty true to form in terms of the book's description of the dress, but i'm freaking creeped out by the sketched woman wearing the dress. is it just me, or is there a grandma goldfish head on top of this body?
zac posen contributes the last design and it's the least like the book's description (other than that weird ass dragon dress from above - i already forgot who the hell designed that). this is another creepy ass sketch. this is why the public rarely sees the sketches and only sees the finished garmet - the sketches are far to effed up for be considered beautiful. chances are none of these will make the cut for the movies; they'd all be too expensive - probably the entire wardrobe budget! of course, there's still time for the costume designer to choose something.
if you made the conscious decision to watch the miss universe pageant last night, then you've already had the misfortune of seeing this fine performance. the hills' resident villianess performed for the first time as a pop star as part of last night's beauty competition. her song, "body language," was used to help introduce the contestants this year. i don't know whose genius idea this was, but putting heidi on stage to dance and sing was not the best decision. maybe it was the best the production could do, but definitely no a good choice. in my opinion, it's one thing to have a big song and lip-sync through it while you do complicatedly choreographed routines (hello, britney spears), but to lazily dance while you attempt to lip sync to a song no one has heard? unacceptable. luckily, heidi's performance was intercut with photos of this year's competitors so we all did not have to sit through the whole thing. i don't know in what kind of delusional world heidi and spencer live in, but i wish they would snap out of it. you're reality stars. that's it. that's as far as it can go. heidi is "signed" to "pratt productions," meaning only her and spencer's money is going into this effort. just give up now and save a few bucks, okay? you'd be doing the entire world a favor.
season 3 of the cw's flagship show, gossip girl, doesn't hit your tv screens until september 14th, but to hold yourself over until then (and to fill up space on this blog because nothing is happening right now that's worth discussing) check out the season 2 gag reel above, one of the special features from the recently released dvd. some fun facts we get to learn: ed westwick can easily go in-and-out of his chuck bass/american voice and his natch british accent, leighton meester likes to talk in funny voices ... a lot, and the cast uses their phones just about as much as their on screen counterparts do. hopefully you have 10 minutes to waste on this. if not, i understand.
the title above is a blatant lie and completely fabricated allegation based upon this sample off miley's new walmart exclusive ep, the time of our lives. the "extended play" cd goes on sale next monday, august 31st and features songs ranging from "let's rock out in my bedroom with my stuffed animals" to "i'm going to sit alone in the corner now and cry." basically, it's music for everyone. the track listing is as follows: 1) "kicking and screaming," 2) "party in the usa," 3) "when i look at you," 4) "time of our lives," 5) "talk is cheap," 6) "obsessed," and 7) "before the storm (live)." i can only imagine that the "before the storm" recording comes from cyrus's surprise appearance at the jonas brothers' dallas concert earlier this summer (viewable here). the whole point of this disc is to draw up interest and promote miley's recent fashion endeavor, mileycyrusmaxazria, available exclusively at walmart. why they didn't just name the line "miley&max" or simply "miley by max azria" is beyond me. we all know she didn't design it; maybe she chose which checkered fabrics were best and signed off on all the british flags screened on every item, but that's about it. from the sounds of this sampler, miley's lead track - "party in the usa" - is the best offering and you don't even have to step foot in a wally world for that - you can get it on itunes.
famous faces join melrose
first of all, check out these steamy promos for the series relaunch of melrose place, coming this fall to the cw.
the slogans "menage a tues," "tuesday's the new humpday," and "tuesdays are a bitch" are a bit much, right? or maybe not enough. i like the last too, but "menage a tues?" really? i think the cw is expecting too much brain power out of its audience. anyway, back to that casting news that i teased. it looks like the newly named mrs. channing tatum, jenna dewan (of step up fame...if you can call "hey it's that girl from that one dance movie" fame), is set to be melrose's new resident bitch. well, at least for two episodes. the actress has been tapped to play a young studio exec interested in seducing budding filmmaker jonah, played by sisterhood of the traveling pants' and greek's michael rady. in more exciting news, it looks like melrose's most famous face from its fox predecessor, heather locklear (the mom from that hilary duff movie the perfect man/lilly's mom on hannah montana, for my less 90s knowledge inclined readers), is set to reprise her role of amanda woodward. the bitch is back! this news comes from people mag so basically is comes from the bible of all things pop culture. if it's wrong, people has some serious 'splaining to do. heather originally wouldn't come back to the show because of the plot line laid out for her character; amanda was supposed to be the landlord of the melrose place apartments. problem? (spoiler) the landlord gets killed off in the first episode and her death is the main mystery of season 1; former cast member laura leighton decided to take that gig instead. her character, sydney, had already been called off in the first edition of the series, so what's another death? but, after much negotiation, the producers have apparently worked out the perfect plot for ad exec amanda and heather is ready to come back (willing that contract negotiations go well - you know she wants the $$). the new version of melrose kicks off september 8th. to get a sneak peak of what it's like to live at melrose place, hit up melroseplaceapts.com.
why is hollywood able to come up with any new ideas? it seems like every time i come across a movie i want to see recently it's a remake. the folks at lionsgate are set to recreate one of the most iconic 80s movies ever: dirty dancing. yep, the movie that launched a genre is being rewritten for a more modern take by uptown girlsscreenwriter julia dahl. the original film made over $200 million at the box office in its original 1987 release so i can only assume the production company is attempting to recreate that success. too bad they failed the last time they tried to do that; dirty dancing: havana nights, a 2004 "sequel" set in 1950s cuba, made just $27 million worldwide, even with the name recognition and hype surrounding it. the only reason i could see for this remake is to turn it into a musical. the '87 flick was recently adapted into a stage musical that's been doing workshop performances out in california. if the music for that show is somehow incorporated and improved upon (from what i've read, the musical is a bit of a chore to sit through) then maybe this could work. movie-to-stage-to-movie adaptations have recently been popular at the box office (ie hairspray) and with other studios (ie the current reproduction of footloose) and the movie musical is bigger than ever (mamma mia! became the highest grossing movie in british history, far exceeding prior record holdertitanic). the movie is in its early development stages currently, but i hope they don't eff it up - like every other remake that's been made since...forever.
proving that she's not reverting back to her pre-conservatorship life of pink wigs and drugs, britney spears appeared in a pre-taped segment for david letterman's "top 10 list" last night. the list was all about how the world would be different if britney spears were president and, well, the whole list was probably true. britney appears either really uncomfortable or nervous while reading the list, continuously moving her position, but still pulls it off. her delivery probably isn't as comedic as it could be, though. check out the video above. i feel like the same list probably could have applied to miley cyrus or lindsay lohan, too.
out of the public eye for a while now, singer/actress mandy moore is trying to remind people she exists and that she can be funny. in the latest offering from will ferrell's funnyordie.com, mandy is promoting a new product, red bull energy douche. check out the spot above, in which mandy goes about her day as a business woman (?) after "giving her vagina wings." the sketch doesn't quite make sense as mandy is just super energized like she would had she drank a regular red bull. but, either way, it's still funny.
more idol news
as the audition rounds for next season's american idol continue to be flooded with contestants, idol producers keep bringing in some big name stars to fill the void left behind by paula abdul's departure. victoria beckham has already filmed two spots for the show, in addition to previously announced guest judge katy perry. mary j blige is the next artist to be added to the revolving cast, taking the hot seat for the atlanta round of try outs. i guess the idea is put someone who might know the area well to judge the contestants? in a surprise twist, kelly clarkson - the first idol ever - will be going on the other side of things as a guest judge for one of the audition rounds. kelly hasn't exactly been the most thankful idol, fighting with her record label and dropping the management set up by the show for her, but is still the most successful pop star the show has produced (carrie underwood is the biggest artist to come out of idol). shania twain is coming out of hiding in switzerland to take on the role of judge, too. i wouldn't be surprised if her episode airs around the time she decides to release a new single or something; remind people who she is and drum up interest. and, finally, a former show mentor - jennifer lopez - is becoming a judge, too. the actress/singer has gotten back into the swing of things as a hollywood mogul and is currently wrapping her newest movie, the romcom the back-up plan. the most surprising guest judge? joe jonas. yep, the lead singer of the jonai is jumping on the idol bandwagon critique this year's crop of talent, too. what his credentials are are beyond me. however, none of these names are permanent replacements for paula. rumors have been floating around that both diana ross and natalie cole, both of whom are virtually retired, are gunning to take on the role of sympathetic mentor. however, the show probably won't take on either of them. instead, there are reportedly only two options the show runners see: get paula back or keep the revolving door. because paula's name didn't appear anywhere on the dancing with the stars' call sheet - or ugly betty (she was supposed to have a guest spot, which was instead given to 3rd rock vet kirsten johnson) and so you think you can dance - the producers supposedly feel like they can get abdul back. she's been such a much discussed (and wanted, for some unknown reason) property that idol sees her as the biggest coup they can get; too bad they already screwed that up. sources keep saying that paula wants "seacrest money" - which would be $45 million for a 3 year contract - for her work on the show. sadly, i don't think she'll be getting it. the previously demand of $12 million sounds a lot more reasonable. i could even see a figure somewhere around $20 million for abdul. if the show can't get paula back, they'll most likely be sticking with big name, one-off guest judges. in my opinion, that would be great. get an "expert" to judge what the week's genre is and then the contestants might actually get some real advice and constructive criticism. anything's better than "it's aight, dawg, just pitchy," right?
dancing with...the not-so-rich rich and shameless?
the new cast of abc's dancing with the stars was released today (and announced on good morning america, above) and, well, it kind of blows. though rumors were circulating that "names" like paula abdul, lou ferrigno, and dean mcdermott-spelling would be hoofing it this season, that wasn't the case. instead, the following people were chosen by abc.
1. aaron carter - what!? i guess every season needs the "recovering addict" to pull at the viewers' heartstrings, but i'm not sure i can look at that acne scarred face for an entire season. aaron is one the youngest contestant this season, but i don't see young "fans" keeping him in. the only time he was famous or popular was when he was locked in a disney love triangle with hilary duff and lindsay lohan. his official bio on abc.com claims he is a talented "singer-songwriter, producer, and actor." um, since when?
2. ashley hamilton - yeah, i didn't really know who he is either. the only time i've ever heard his name is when people are talking about shannon doherty's ex's. apparently, ashley is george hamilton's (that orange man in the ritz crackers commercials who competed on season 2 of the show) son. apparently, ashley has written songs for the likes of hilary duff and sugar ray (what accomplishments) along with acting bit parts on canceled shows like oz. the reason ash can compete this season is because, like all the other competitors, he doesn't really have a job right now...other than being a "comedian." how can you be a singer-songwriter-actor-comedian? unless you're jamie foxx.
3. chuck liddell - you won't recognize this name unless you're a fan of ultimate fighting and i'm going to go out on a limb and say that none of my readers are. obviously, finding "famous" men willing to dance in tight costumes and we have to settle for the likes of chuck "iceman" liddell (because he's obviously used to wearing next-to-nothing so a shirt/pant combo is probably a refreshing change for him). like everyone this season apparently, chuck has dabbled in film with such masterpieces as 300, cradle 2 the grave, and drillbit taylor. he's also the author of the book iceman: my fighting life. obviously, that's on my reading list now.
4. debi mazar - the only reason i know who this is is because i loved the movie beethoven 2 when i was little and she played the bitchy villain. most recently, debi's been playing opposite "movie star" (i use that term loosely because his new movie, the goods, pretty much tanked this weekend at the box office) jeremy piven on entourage.
5. donny osmond - following in his sister's cooky footsteps, donny is taking the stage this season. hopefully he won't pull a "i fainted but not really because it was just a ploy to get votes and stay on the show" like his doll-designer sister. currently, donny shares the stage with his sister in an inexplicably successful revue in las vegas, the perfect place for mormons.
6. joanna krupa - allegedly a "supermodel," i only know her name from watching this summer's defunct show the superstars. if she brings with same bitchy attitude to dwts as she did to superstars, she'll be fun to watch - though she doesn't have t.o. to direct her anger at. other than her reality show career, i can't tell where her experience in modeling - let alone the entertainment industry - comes from.
7. kathy ireland - an actual model (!) though her career ended over 10 years ago. kathy is one of two stars this season who recently graced the cover of people as poster children for weight loss (more on the other star later). she also "designs" a line of home goods and furniture as well as a clothing line for kmart. with that in mind, feel free to make assumptions.
8. kelly osbourne - a "singer, actress, and media personality," according to abc.com, kelly is best known as the daughter of ozzy and sharon osbourne. she's no stranger to reality tv (she was on the first one that followed "media personalities" - the osbournes) and had some success as a musical artist. if she's the dwts audience's cup of tea remains to be seen.
9. louie vito - if your mind functions like mine, the first thing that graced your mind when you saw this name was "who?" apparently, louie is a professional snowboarder. again, it's hard to find men willing to dance and who have time to commit to the show. louie is this season's resident midget at just 5 foot 5 inches.
10. macy gray - remember that song "i try?" the one that sounded like some sort of transvestite was singing it? yeah, macy sang that. that's about all her career has amounted to, but, hey, i'm sure she made a ton of money off of it. i would be shocked if "i try" wasn't used as one of the songs macy dances to. and the only reason she's doing this has to be that she's recording an album that is soon-to-be released. she knows how to self promote - remember that dress she wore to an mtv awards show that proclaimed "my album drops [insert random date here]?"
11.mark decascos - the only way you'll recognize this face (or name if you're good with those) is if you watch iron chef america. yes, the host of that show - the one who screams out the secret ingredient and then lets alton brown do everything else - is competing on dancing with the stars this year.
12. melissa joan hart - sabrina! yay! i've been a longtime fan of clarissa and the way she explained it all, so having mjh on this season is a big draw for me. mj is the other celeb to recently grace the cover of people mag proclaiming that her body was "hot" once again and has mentioned in the past that she's always wanted to be on the show and that the producers routinely turned her down. sounds a little desp to me. i was surprised to see hart's name on the list this morning because she and her family recently relocated to the east coast to be closer to her sick mother. oh well. getting sabrina back on tv means no explanation needed to me.
13.michael irvin - the always present sports star this season. a former member of the dallas cowboys football league, irvin is supposed to be the draw for the uber male this season (ie the men who are forced to watch the show because of their wives). he'll probably do rather well on the show because football players, in the past, have all been pretty light on their feet - surprisingly.
14. mya - her singing career has been over since "lady marmalade" so dwts was probably her publicists solution for reminding people that she's not the r&b who died in a plane crash (that was aaliyah, fyi).
15. natalie coughlin - this season's answer to last year's champ shawn johnson (i'm still bitter she beat out both melissa and gilles), natalie is a gold-winning olympic swimmer. there's really no other facts to talk about, but almost all gold medal winning olympians have taken home the mirrored ball trophy on the show.
16. tom delay - yes, that tom delay. the former majority leader of the republican party was apparently the "surprise" contestant this season. i'm not really surprised at his willingness to participate in the show, just more surprised that the casting department thought he was a "get." he'll probably be the first to go.
and that's that. the show's 9th season (yes, it's already been that many) of dwts premieres september 21st and lasts 3 nights, ending on wednesday the 23rd. the show has more contestants than usual this time around, so special "double eliminations" will be held during the middle of the season and will knock out about half of the contestants. so, basically, there's no point in having all these randos. oh well. i'm just pissed samantha harris is returning as host. her robot voice and michelle obama arms are disconcerting.
yep, nothing. check back tomorrow for my thoughts on the new cast of dancing with the stars. in the mean time, here's kourtney and khloe's chelsea lately appearance. the sisters kardashian will be invading your tv's with their new show k&k take miami, which starts tonight at 10/9c.
a rhetorical analysis of miley cyrus's "party in the u.s.a."
so there wasn't really any news to share and comment on today and i decided to try something new and different. ever since the teen choice awards, this song has been stuck in my head. the more i hear it, the more thoughts about it pop in my head. here are those thoughts, some based solelyupon her teen choice awards performance, which you can see above.
i hopped off the plane at lax
- false, it was an airstream trailer.
- trailers should really be avoided by "country people."
with a dream and my cardigan
- why wouldn't you dress like the lyrics?
- a fur vest, shorts, and hooker heels really aren't appropriate attire. ever.
welcome to the land of fame excess am i gonna fit in
- probably not. especially in a fur vest. jumped in the cab, here i am for the first time look to the right and i see the hollywood sign
- they really should have had a hollywood sign on the stage.
this is all so crazy everybody seems so famous
- you're the only famous person on stage.
- and the "band on top of a bus" thing has been done. on degrassi.
my tummy's turnin and im feelin kinda home sick too much pressure and im nervous,
- why is there pressure on you? you're going to a party. cause when the taxi man turned on the radio
- you never got in a taxi!
- a taxi with stripper pole would have been better than the ice cream truck. and a britney song was on and the britney song was on and the britney song was on
- miley, you should have done britney choreography at this point.
- like your back-up dancers attempted.
so i put my hands up
- false. you put a hand. single. one. they're playing my song, and the butterflies fly away noddin' my head like yea movin my hips like yea
- except not really. the in-hand microphone made this difficult. i got my hands up, they're playin my song i know im gonna be ok yea, its a party in the usa yea, its a party in the usa
- you could have been more specific. as in party in la.
- more on this later.
get to the club in my taxi cab everybodys lookin at me now
- you are 16. going to a club would require a fake id.
- that's so not disney appropriate. like "whos that chick, thats rockin' kicks, she gotta be from out of town"
- you have on hooker heels!
- kicks are sneakers. like the converse knock-offs in your wal-mart line. so hard with my girls all around me
- where the hell is your best friend leslye?
- obviously she's a horrible friend for making you go to a club alone. it's definitely not a nashville party
- obviously. you're in hollywood.
- this is just stupidity. 'cuz all i see are stilletos i guess i never got the memo
- yes, yes you did. you're wearing hooker heel boots - close enough.
my tummy's turnin and im feelin kinda home sick too much pressure and im nervous
- who is putting pressure on you?
- who invited you to this party? you're apparently not famous yet.
- and know no one.
and the d.j. dropped my favorite tune and a michael song was on and the michael song was on and the michael song was on
- i much prefer the michael reference to the jay z one.
- i really don't see miley listening to rap music. just try to picture it.
so i put my hands up they're playing my song, and the butterflies fly away noddin' my head like yea movin my hips like yea i put my hands up, they're playin my song i know im gonna be ok yea, it's a party in the usa yea, it's a party in the usa
- see, here. here is where "l.a." makes sense.
- because a party in the usa could also happen in nashville.
- it still works with the flow of the song, too. "it's a party in la."
feel like i wanna fly back to my hometown tonight
- why? we all got to see your hometown in the hannah montana movie.
- it wasn't fun. something stops me everytime the d.j. plays my song and i feel alright!
- what a great d.j. he's like a doctor.
- and this is kind of narcissistic.
- at least the way i think about it. it's like he's playing to "7 things."
so i put my hands up there playing my song, and the butterflies fly away
- there are still butterflies in your stomach?
- you should have that looked out. really. i'm worried. noddin' my head like yea movin my hips like yea
- if you actually demonstrated this "yea" movement, i'd grasp it better. i put my hands up, there playin my song i know im gonna be ok yea,(na, na na na na) its a party in the usa yea, its a party in the usa so i put my hands up there playing my song, and the butterflys fly away noddin' my head like yea movin my hips like yea i put my hands up, there playin my song i know im gonna be ok yea, its a party in the usa yea, its a party in the usa
fin de actividad. i think it's a great radio song, but the lyrics could have taken a little finessing. just saying. the performance could have used some too.
in honor of their two nominations at this year's video music awards, cobra starship was asked to make a promo for the show alongside "good girls go bad" collaborator leighton meester. the band and gossip girl took to the transit museum in brooklyn to shoot the 30 second spot, making use of an antique subway car, with choreography by wade robson, who got his start as a dancer for britney spears. while a choreographer was necessary is beyond me, the spot is a one of the cooler music-based things shown on mtv (when people are awake and watching the channel) in a long time. though, in my opinion, leighton meester should have been used more than just a little "hi, i'm standing over here on the stairs looking all bored and stressed while reading" part. oh well. the second spot features music's latest (and only) it girl taylor swift. the "vma side story" spot is double the length of cobra's and features double the talent (with about 15 less people involved). i'm pretty sure taylor is set to perform at the show and hopefully she'll bring it. my favorite awards show performances recently have been tswifts, so i hope she doesn't eff this up. the show airs live september 13th at 9/8c on mtv and is being hosted, once again, by russell brand. hopefully he's learned his lesson and won't be making any jobro/virgin jokes this time around.
kourtney kardashian knows how to drum up drama. the kourtney and khloe take miami star (or, as i affectionately call it k&k in m-i-a [isn't that a better title?]) announced yesterday that she was expecting her first child. at the time, it seemed like all details were going to be kept under wraps in order to keep interest in k+k and a new season of keeping up with the kardashians. but, that isn't the case anymore. k and k appeared on the today show's 4th hour this morning to promote the new show and all the beans were spilled. my new theory is, that, if you're a single girl who has a show on e! and is offered a spin-off about being "fun, flirty, and single in the city," turn it down! unless you want to end up with a bun in the oven before you walk down the isle. hello - the same thing happened to kendra; she wasn't supposed to get engaged and knocked up, but rather have cameras follow around her life as a wild child living on her own for the first time. at least she was engaged before she got preggers. kourtney wasn't even in a relationship at a time of her surprise impregnation. turns out the eldest kardash was semi-on-again with douche extraordinaire scott disick when she forgot to take the birth control pill. this turned into the second pregnancy scare for the couple, both of which have been documented by e!'s reality cameras. what an act of maturity. check out the interview above to get most of the details on baby dash and to feel better about your own life and decisions.
there's a lot of news floating around today that we must discuss, but none of them are enough for a full blown blog post. let's get started. victoria beckham has already filled paula abdul's recently vacated crazy shoes as a guest judge on this year's idol auditions in denver and is about to make another, unprecedented stop with the idol crew. eonline reports that the former spice girl was seen boarding a flight to boston alongside some other idol-ers; boston just so happens to be the next stop on the audition train. this is fueling rumors that victoria is set to fill those crazy shoes permanently. i think this could work; she's more famous than paula and pretty much everyone forgets she started as a musician. the only thing is america doesn't care about the beckhams as much as the beckhams (and the uk for some reason) think america does. case in point, victoria and david were supposed to star in a reality series based on their big move stateside. but, when buzz wasn't big enough and no one seemed interested, the program was shortened to a one-off special on nbc that garnered almost no ratings. putting posh on idol may be a good way to finally get her ingrained into the american pop lexicon. plus, she'll probably play the same role (she even said was trying to) as paula. she's far less credible than everyone else on the table, but had a successful career. hopefully the similarities stop there. however, there are still very likely chances that paula-gate is just a big publicity stunt and the rainbow-fairy judge will be back starting with the post-audition rounds.
because of budget cuts, america's next top model is going to look quite different this cycle. first off, all the girls were required to be 5'7" and shorter. 5'7" is usually a model-minimum (i'm pretty sure this is just another part of tyra banks trying to make sure no one looks prettier than her on the show - she always picks the less likely contender of the final two in fear of being threatened by her beauty - just saying). in addition, the show will have less model credibility. paulina poriskova was let go earlier this year because she was too expensive (how or why is beyond me - i didn't even know who she was until she embarrassed herself on dancing with the stars). so, in her place, we'll be seeing a revolving cast of celebrity faces. no word on whether or not any of these guest judges will be models (which would add some cred to the show), but names announced so far are kim kardashian and lauren conrad. how those names make sense in the modeling world, i don't know. but, in the teen-viewer world, they're huge. and, let's be honest, this show has never made a star so ratings are everything. it's probably the only reality competition show still on the air who has never made its winner a household name. the show premieres on the cw september 9th with the always boring casting special
in e! reality star baby news, kendra wilkinson has revealed that she and new hubby hank baskett are expecting a baby boy. all i can say is thank baby jesus. the world does not need a baby kendra running around. and between her and hank's genes, a boy is more likely to turn out attractive. but, kendra won't be the only vowel-net star becoming a mom. kourtney kardashian revealed today that she is expecting her first child. i know what you're thinking - what the buckcherry? i had the same reaction when i received the e!news text. kourtney hasn't revealed any details about the pregnancy, just saying "you'll have to watch." what great timing to announce a baby bombshell when you have a new show desperate for viewers premiering this sunday (kourtney and khloe take miami). i just hope the baby's daddy isn't that creepola ex-boyfriend scott (above) we got to see kourntey cavort with on keeping with the kardashians. and, because the show is finished filming (as far as i know), i see this baby news coming as the shocking, cliff-hanger season finale that will lead viewers into an all new season of keeping up. if they don't do that they're stupid. while it may not seem it, kourtney actually is the oldest kasdashian sister and recently turned 30. so, while she might not be following a traditional path of love-marriage-baby, she is mature enough (at least on her driver's license) to have a child
and, finally, disney has acquired the film rights to the diary of anne frank. while it's great that frank's story is being told, i don't know if disney is the right place for this. i'm scared that we'll be seeing a trailer touting "miley cyrus is...anne frank" too soon and that's just something that doesn't need to happen.
continuing on the teen band wagon of yesterday - though, with how long it took me, it seems like it was years ago - here are a couple promos from the cw's returning shows, gossip girl and 90210. yeah, those guys. there's not much to talk about - though i will post some little updates on the blog's official twitter - so i figured i'd give you a minute of viewing pleasure. both shows are keeping up the super sexualized ads that have propelled them to mediocre ratings since their humble beginnings on the ceedub. enjoy.
like every awards show, the teen choice awards have a pre-show red carpet (though, in this years case, it was a green/astroturf carpet). i don't really understand the point because the show is pre-taped and no one really does a full-on special about the "ev
ent." if it weren't for the blogosphere and celeb news shows, no one would even know who wore what; and, from what i saw today of the green carpet, there weren't even proper press stations - just guard rails and reporters leaning over them. overall, it was just an excuse for obsessive tweenagers (therefore, people not even old enough to vote for the awards) screaming at the cast of twilight. britney spears was one of the first celebs to hit the carpet; while it was originally reported that spears would be performing at the show, that statement was retracted soon after. seems like someone who was in charge of tv ads was mistaken; britney was only appearing to collect the award for "ultimate choice," which i can only assume is the teen choice equivalent to a "lifetime achievement award?" because, let's face it, once you're within 5 years of 30, you're basically dead.
i am so glad we're passed the pink wig, crazy with a bat days. but, like many other stars (namely miley cyrus) i really want to know what length britney spears' hair actually is. is there nothing you can do with the hair that has actually sprung out of your hair that will look good? really, nothing? because i'm sure it would look better than extensions. the next big "star" to hit the carpet was robert pattinson, flanked by the two less famous actors who play his brothers in the twilight saga (i really hate the use of the word saga in relation to this series - it dramatizes it too much). kellan lutz is the only one who looks like he bothered to bathe for this public outing. and none of them look happy to be there. what...a surprise. who wouldn't want to go to a teen awards show and be hounded for playing a fictional character?amanda bynes continued the "i'm too old to have hair this long trend" that miley cyrus started by showing up looking like this.
why? amanda, i'm going to go out on a limb and say that the reason your career might not be roaring right now is this look. take out the extensions; the only girl who is rocking this exact look right now is lindsay lohan and do you really want to be compared to that? i would also recommend you put the bottle of peroxide down and step away...slowly. please return to your what i like about you look. in another shocking turn (except this one actually kind of was), zac efron and vanessa hudgens arrived to the show separately and did no press together. the couple did manage to get seated next to each other inside, though, so they're keeping up appearances. another couple making appearances was kathy griffin and levi johnson. yes, bristol palin baby daddy levi johnson. only kathy griffin would nab him as a date.
here's the twitpic kathy sent out with the message "there's a new love in my life. age is just a number people." if only we could have known what was going through levi's head the whole night. probably something like this: ohgeegosh i can't believes i'm at a real highclasslike event. too bad it was only the teen choice awards. and, finally, the biggest hot mess of the carpet came from kristen stewart. are we surprised? the girl is always walking some thin line. kristen showed up in a a skirt completely covered in spikes. because they're classy and go with everything.
and, like always, kristen made sure to pull out her signature pose. the eyes-glazed-over-shoulder slouch. it's a classic. while kristen and the rest of the twilight cast didn't really break any big news on the turf carpet, director catherine hardwicke did. hardwicke got her chance to chime in on the recent firing of rachelle lefevre. turns out hardwicke's original vision for the character of victoria was recast bryce dallas howard. but, when offered the part originally, howard considered the role too small. did she not realize that there were more films in the series and potential for growth? hmm. something sounds fishy here. oh yeah, and then kim kardashian came out last minute as a blonde. way to shock your public, kim.
personally, i think she's trying to rip off giuliana depandi-rancic (host of e!news)'s look.
the show
i have one major problem with these fan-vote awards shows - and its mainly because we live in the internet age. unlike in the original days of the people's choice awards, voters can vote on continuous loops, flooding the awards shows with false results. does it never seem weird to the people putting together to the shows that they get hundreds of millions of votes yet only a small amount (anywhere from 3-20 million) people actually tune in for the show? just a thought. that's why i never know how much of an honor it is to receive these awards. should the recipients be thanking all the fans or just user twilightlvr24 who sat at her computer for hours on end clicking the submit button and racking up her at&t bill by texting her votes every 4 seconds? if only there were a way to guarantee only one-time votes and no repeats. like sending out ballots to every teen in the us to fill out and send back in. too bad there's no way to police that either. anyway, on to the shows performances and such. so the jonai are hosting and...i can only expect a hotmess. the opening sketch is based on political humor and, well, that should really just be left to saturday night live. the ending "it's time for the teen choice awards!" was an obvious rip off of the "it's saturday night!" catch phrase. and is it just me or was the "featuring" opening credits number the longest one in the history of the world? the should have just said "we brought everyone from disney and the cw here...oh and twilight! let's get it started." the jobros followed up their attempt at comedy with a performance. i think it's time to retire the jabs at every single girl you've ever dated joe. really. i'd say taylor swift has way more career longevity than you (again, it's going to be creepy when a bunch of 20somethings are singing about high school drama one day) and who gives anything about camilla belle?
i'd also really appreciate if joe jonas learned to play an instrument other than the tambourine or triangle. just saying. another thing i hate about the teen choice awards (by the time you're done reading this, you're probably going to want to scream at me something like "why did you even watch!?" just live with my decision now and everything will be a lot easier) is that they don't hand out every single award. they ambush the presenters with announcements that they've won an award; it's like "oh, you're not cool enough to get official time to give a speech. sorry." first award: choice drama actor and actress. was there not a limit on the amount of nominees? geez, another list that goes on and on. out of the choices though, chace crawford and leighton meester do make sense as winners. okay, first official list.
choice comedian: george lopez
choice actor, drama: chace crawford
choice actress, drama: leighton meester
choice tv show, drama: gossip girl
and the night's first twitter joke(s) have been made. involving the cast of icarly. involving twitter in the show is a smart idea but, really? a whole award based around it? and why were all the awards based on twitpics?
choice twit: ellen degeneres
what a shock. the teen choice awards aren't great at keeping who-wins-what secret on two accounts. 1) everyone can find out the night before and 2) they only invite the people who win to the show. i do love ellen degeneres though; the fact that she films everything for her show from her perspective is a great idea. don't know if her "buy you beer" joke was sending the right message at the teen choice awards ... "dare the jonas brothers." this cannot be good. and why is teen choice still using myspace? why didn't they do this through twitter? or facebook? wow, these dares are crazy. not.
choice dance movie: high school musical 3
choice movie actor, comedy: zac efron
choice movie actor, musicor dance: zac efron
choice movie, rock star moment: zac efron
what a sweet little disney/hsm reunion on stage. i'm sure it wasn't planned at all. i'd also like to state for the record that i'm not sure "music" or "dance" are really genres. there are musicals and there are dance-themed movies, but they're generally classified as dramas/love stories/ etc ... i wish the glee cast had performed instead of sean kingston. it would have been much better cross promotion and not the chris brown rip-off we all got to witness. the audience members sean included in his act just seemed confused as to why they were being forced into a box and made to twirl t-shirts around. overall score: lame. now onto the first jobro dare: "joe i dare you to get all of your hair cut off on stage." well a buzz cut would make him more distinguishable from his brothers. but, i can't tell if he actually went through with the cut or was he wearing a hairpiece? the whole bit was obviously staged. i guess we'll find out later in the show. onto more awards...
choice actress, tv action adventure: hayden panetierre
choice activist: hayden panetierre
choice movie fresh face, male: taylor lautner
choice movie fresh face, female: ashley green
ashley green's fresh face award was accompanied online by some fresh nudie pics. yep, ashley pulled a vanessa hudgens and some not so safe for work pics were leaked to the blogs. this begins what can only be the slew of awards twilight will rack up tonight. is taylor lautner really up for this award? hello,did we forget sharkboy and lava girl?
choice tv sidekick: emily osment
choice summer movie, action/adventure: harry potter and the half blood prince
choice summer movie, comedy: up
romance: the proposal
choice summer movie star: shia labeouf
choice break out tv star, female: demi lovato
choice break out star, male: frankie jonas
okay, a bunch of awards at one time. and they're some of the bigger ones. out of this list, the biggest star they could get was really frankie jonas? what? his two lines on that gem of a show jonas were really worthy of being a "break out?" okay, teens ... was anyone else creeped out by ed westwick's british accent. it's weird hearing that, especially when he was saying weird things about kristen bell.
choice tv, action/adventure series: heroes
choice tv villian: ed westwick
choice summer movie, drama: my sister's keeper
so drama garnered an actual award moment, but not action/adventure or comedy? probably because they could actually guarantee getting abigail breslin to the awards. cameron diaz is a definite bonus though. an actual a-list star at the awards! too bad the movie didn't do so hot at the box office.
choice summer tv star, male: daren kagasoff (secret life)
choice music single: "the climb," miley cyrus
choice hissy fit: hannah montana the movie
choice movie actress, music and dace: miley cyrus
choice tv actress, comedy: miley cyrus
choice tv show, comedy: hannah montana
choice song of the summer: "before the storm," jonas brothers ft. miley cyrus
let's just honor miley with a 10 minute diatribe. and top it off with a performance of "party in the usa." i'm going to go out on a limb and say these outfit choices were just a tinge inappropriate for a disney star. shouldn't she have worn outfits from her new walmart line? the song is just a promotional tool for the line. but, i guess she's just being miley. wouldn't it have been awesome if britney spears actually came out when miley switched it up and said "and a britney song was on" instead of a "jay-z song?" that would have made this good. now, let's have a little public service announcement here. parents, keep your kids away from the ice cream truck this summer because they might decide to become an ice cream stripper, like miley did in this performance. just saying. here's a rough version of the performance:
was it really necessary to end the performance with an acceptance speech. those awards aren't exactly cut-and-paste speeches. they're all for different things! the teen choice awards are no place for religion, especially after that kind of performance ... i'm glad to see alexis bledel was dusted off and brought out. she's one of my favorite under-appreciated teen actresses alongside emma roberts.
choice summer tv star, female: selena gomez
choice summer tv show: princess protection program
red carpet fashion icon, female: selena gomez
okay, i'm all for selena picking up these awards. but for the princess protection program, really? we all know that movie was one of the worst things put out by disney in a long, long time. she could have taken home the surfboard for wizards of waverly place. at least that show has some actual comedy in it. the interesting thing about kid sitcoms is that they're almost completely staffed by former network sitcom writers. the networks got rid of sitcoms, but cable didn't. so, therefore they're pretty well written. though they teach kids to be overly sassy. yes, i'm looking at you hannah montana.
choice hottie, male: robert pattinson
choice hottie, female: megan fox
choice summer movie star, female: megan fox
choice movie actor, drama: robert pattinson
i feel like robert pattinson was very confused about his award and megan fox was very ungrateful, so the usual ... dare #2. the first "hair cut" was a total fake-out. therefore this bit is pointless and i don't really feel like paying attention. this time, kevin was dared to get a tattoo and a blonde kat von d was there to do the duty. i'm sure it's just a temporary one. i don't think momma and daddy jonas would allow real ones ... i'm glad we all got a moment away from the jonai with the black eyed peas performance of "i got a feeling." this has definitely become one of the songs of the summer, hence its nomination. i think the bep's should also win the award for most creative use of surfboards, no? it was a nice tongue-in-cheek moment. they know they're there for entertainment and aren't trying to make it seem like these awards mean anything. the teen choice awards are just a lesser version of the people's choice and a more adult version (but basically the same thing) as the kids choice awards. the sound was a bit off during the performance, but that's not their fault. perez hilton probably tampered with the sound system. i always feel bad for the clean-up crews of these shows; one artist always thinks it's a good idea to pour confetti from the ceiling and make a big mess.
choice rap/hip-hop track: black eyes peas
i have no clue what song this was for, because the show didn't specify. but i'm guessing it's for "boom boom pow." and props to will.i.am. for his autotune comment. good thing kanye wasn't present.
choice movie actress, action/adventure: jordana brewster
choice movie actor, action/adventure: hugh jackman
kevin's tattoo revealed the winner of the action/adventure actor, which was - surprise, surprise - hugh jackman. he was the only nominee in attendance. this "dare the jonas brothers" is a big joke and should have been eliminated from the telecast. to be truthful, the jonas brothers should have been eliminated from the telecast. the teen choice awards are one show that doesn't really need a host. just have the presenters do it. there's a ton of talent out there that you don't have to pay a hosting fee! duh. the celebrity dares that america's next top model's miss j collected were better than the ones submitted by fans. dare #3 is for nick and it is "hug as many fans as he can." how outrageous. if nick had a phobia of touching people or was a germaphone, then this would be great. but, otherwise, this is one of the stupidest things ever broadcast on television. then again, i'm in my last year as a teen and i'm not a girl, so maybe i'm losing touch. something tells me i'm not though. kim kardashian was in the line of fans for no reason other than to put kim kardashian there. at least the audience didn't notice her because of her blonde locks, so that added some fun.
now it's the ultimate choice award. miley cyrus take that nose ring out of your nose! unless you're singing "what if god was one of us" and this is 1995, that is not okay. you're trying too hard. it was fun to hear b spears was the first person to step foot on the teen choice stage, but that was about it. miley's intro was unnecessary other than the "we want people to compare miley and britney and have a passing of the pop queen torch" moment the awards were trying to create. the footage of past awards just made me think "oh, poor freddie prinze jr, why haven't you worked in 10 years?" here's a rough copy of britney's acceptance speech
ultimate choice: britney spears
was it just me or did it seem like britney didn't even realize miley was presenting her the award? it was like she grabbed it from her and forgot she was there. to britney's credit, she might not even know who miley is. we don't know how severe that conservatorship is. plus, britney gave the shortest acceptance speech on record. she ran out of there like there was a sale on red bull and cheetos and she wanted to beat miley to it.
choice r&b artist: beyonce
choice rock act: paramore
choice male artist: jason mraz
choice female artist: taylor swift
choice breakout artist: david archuleta
choice fab-u-lous: miss j
this "choice fab-u-lous" seems like it was just a chance to honor a gay guy. really, teen choice, come out and say it. and what a shocker that miss j won. who ever would have thought? of course miss j pointed out the fact by dedicating his award to the lgbtq community. way to stick it to them, j ... and here's the twilight frenzy: a total 0f 11 awards.
choice movie, drama: twilight
choice music, soundtrack: twilight
choice movie lip-lock: kristen stewart and robert pattinson
choice movie actress, drama: kristen stewart
choice movie villiam: cam gigandet
choice moive rumble: robert pattinson v cam gigandet
choice movie romance: roebrt pattinson and kristen stewart
these awards are added onto the ones already listed above. obviously the twilight team learned to not let kristen stewart accept after her crazy performance at the mtv movie awards. again, robert pattinson was forced to talk and it was awkward. my favorite part was when this acceptance speech was over and the camera literally panned to a bunch of girls getting up and leaving the show. awesome. that must mean we are headed into the final part of the show! yay! i don't know how people could have watched this without a dvr. and here's the part where we honor the jonas brothers, of course.
choice female athlete: shawn johnson
choice tv, breakout show: jonas
choice tv actor, comedy: the jonas brothers
choice red carpet fashion icon: the jonas brothers
choice music album, group: lines vines and trying times
the athlete award was just randomly included with this package. there really is no rhyme or reason the the teen choice awards. we end the show with another jonas brothers performance and i'm fast forwarding through it - i'd prefer to go to bed without a headache. plus they're singing a song about "world war 3."
and, with no official send off, the show is over. what a whirlwind. overall, i'd say the teen choice awards were just eh. but what are we to expect? if you've somehow miraculously made it through this whole post, kudos to you. leave a comment telling me what you think - did you like this or was it just annoying? would you want me to try and do this (maybe not as in depth) for all awards shows?
i am so glad we're passed the pink wig, crazy with a bat days. but, like many other stars (namely miley cyrus) i really want to know what length britney spears' hair actually is. is there nothing you can do with the hair that has actually sprung out of your hair that will look good? really, nothing? because i'm sure it would look better than extensions. the next big "star" to hit the carpet was robert pattinson, flanked by the two less famous actors who play his brothers in the twilight saga (i really hate the use of the word saga in relation to this series - it dramatizes it too much). kellan lutz is the only one who looks like he bothered to bathe for this public outing. and none of them look happy to be there. what...a surprise. who wouldn't want to go to a teen awards show and be hounded for playing a fictional character?
amanda bynes continued the "i'm too old to have hair this long trend" that miley cyrus started by showing up looking like this. 
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